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Mom Guilt Is Real!!!

Hey Girl!


Before I jump into today’s newsletter, I am excited to share something I have been working on in conjunction with my upcoming postpartum workshop. Although I’ve been really busy with life and work, I am happy to announce a FREE 3 day challenge that I am rolling out.


Starting TOMORROW, I will begin guiding moms on taking tiny steps towards finding moments for themselves to regulate, collect their thoughts, and recognize their ability to make it through this thing called motherhood. This challenge will be particularly geared towards expecting moms, new moms, and moms of toddlers; BUT listen Sis, if you’re not in the postpartum phase/timeline but you’re a mom, this still can be a challenge you benefit from


The tips I will be sharing over the next 3 days are things that continue to help me as I parent my 5 and 2.5 year old. I invite you to join me in taking this challenge by clicking the button below. If you aren’t interested in joining me that’s okay, you can simply forward this email to a mommy who you know may benefit from this challenge. That’s all I wanted to share. Thanks for taking a moment to hear about this and join in my excitement about my upcoming challenge, after the sign up button below, you will find your regularly scheduled newsletter. 

Now that I have shared a bit about what I have going on, how are you? I hope you are doing well, and life has been nothing less than kind to you. Make sure to take a moment and sit in your happiness, joy, and gratitude if you happen to be in a good space when reading this email. But if you happen to be having a hard time, you know what I always say. . . This is temporary. I KNOW sometimes when you are in the thick of life, it can be hard to feel like things aren’t permanent, but trust me they are NOT permanent! You WILL get through whatever season you are in, and you WILL look back on this moment and be in a better place than you are today. Alrighty, now that my pep talk is done, let’s talk about Mom guilt. . .


About 2 weeks ago, I celebrated my birthday and had such a great time. If you know me, you know that I am BIG on birthdays! For me, it’s a time to be thankful to God for the fact that He blessed me or one of my loved ones with another year of life. I have always done something special for myself on my birthday. I’ve done things like spending a day at the Spa when I turned 30, to something as small as buying a bottle of nail polish for myself. It doesn’t matter how big or small, what matters to me is that I do something to make myself feel special, which is a tradition I have done for myself for many years.


However, now that I’m a mom, I’ve had to get creative over the past few years on what I do for myself, when I do it, and how. Each year has proved to get a bit more challenging because I have two kids who are still young, which can make my ideal birthday goals a bit complicated to accomplish. Nevertheless, I have found ways to honor myself on my birthday, and this year I found myself in pure bliss with what I decided to do for myself.


This year, I created intentional pockets of time ALONE throughout the weekend leading up to my actual birthday. However, I noticed that when I was in those peaceful moments alone, the peace I had created was almost instantly robbed by mom guilt. I’m sure you are familiar with the term mom guilt, but just in case you are not, it literally means what it says. As a mom you are filled with guilt anytime you are doing something outside of your kids or away from your kids. You feel guilty for doing things that have nothing to do with being a mom, and if you aren’t careful this thing called mom guilt can really weigh you down.


On my birthday weekend, I felt that weight of mom guilt during a moment of peace I was having on my drive to TJ Maxx. But thank God for wisdom! Come on say it with me: “THANK GOD FOR WISDOM!” I decided to text my mother-in-law, to tell her that I was trying to do more things for myself alone, without the girls. And because I was feeling the mom guilt in that moment, I also shared that even though the “mom guilt is real” I was trying to keep up with giving myself alone time. The response she gave me was a golden nugget of wisdom that I couldn’t wait to share with you today. In a nutshell, she basically reminded me that my girls will NOT feel guilty leaving me behind as they get older and want to enjoy their lives separate from me. It was something about that comment that stuck with me in a positive way; and has made it so much easier for me to do things alone and separate from my girls.


My point? Girl! Sis! Ma’am! I say the same thing to you. . . Don’t sit in that guilt, because your kids won’t feel guilty when they begin to leave you behind. Go enjoy yourself! Take that drive alone, eat that meal alone, watch that movie alone. Make time for yourself BY YOURSELF. Why? Because your kid(s) are going to grow up one day and they will live their lives. They will be in bliss as they have fun separate from you. And guess what? That’s okay, because that is a healthy sign that you did your job of creating a healthy attachment with your child. You have to remind yourself that although you may be in the thick of the newborn phase, the toddler phase, or even the little kid phase, that this is just that. . . A PHASE. You have to embrace this phase now, while also preparing yourself to also have a healthy attachment with yourself. This way, when your child(ren) spreads their wings and begins to fly, you will be prepared to also spread your wings and fly into a different phase of motherhood. Until the next time I show up in your inbox, Girl you got this, no go and do something that will help you  Bloom Into Your Best Self. . .

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